Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIII, Number 19, 7 September 1938 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

"Why is Ginger Kogers (kuieinK ivith Fred Astaire again?" "Because Fred Astaire." SAD STORY A very sick man ls Singapore Sam", He ate dog at a iuau When he thought it was ham. A smali town is ā plaee where a man's neig.libors rush to tell his vofe liow liad lie lias becn whilē )-he was away 011 her vaeation, Simile: As compietely forgotten as the Duke anel Duchess of Windsor. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS: The principal reason it is sa£er to breathe "through ou'r noses is because it makes us keep oūr mouths shut. Exei*cise, 3ike strong drink, should be taken in inoderation. If you expect to get any\vlicre in thē world you will have to start at the hottom and wake up. One of the great mysteries of the National Guard, as yet unsoived, is why supp!y sepgeants always give a soldier a hat three sizes too smatl and shoes three sizes too large. But the height of militarism is when a rookie voluntarily wears spiral puttees.

SHE OUGHT TO KNOW

Little Streamlines, the office vampire, recently attended a cooking school, During the talk on the food vaJues of carbohydrates, prote?ns arid fats, tfie speaker asked: "What three food# are required to keep the body in health?" and she rep!ied: "Breakfast, luneh and dinner." During the past year, Japan's exports to CWna have decreasedj alarniingly, according to statisties. This bears out our theory that »booting Uie customer is not a eound commercial policy. V»ncent Lopez, famous orches- : *ra leader, has revised ihe Star BpanQled Bahner ao anybody ean it. Wbat somebody ouoht to invent is a devic e that wili automatically remove hats when the county band piays it at MooImmiu p*rk. A feW ycarB apo !f you drove 20 Jiiiles an liour you were likciy te arrested for Bp«.'ediog. Nowayou*re liahle io get arresled for bto<'king traffic.

AN EPJTAPH Here fies the bones Of Henry McTotten; Hf* m©rals were pure But his molars were rotUn, Wamia \Vaff]cirons baby bro ther ihiew hei la»t shprt story manu«tct-i}M im,> tlu« fir«> Wi> didn*t know thv! kid wab o!d <mougli to read. Moonsh)ne is #tH| being manufaet«red in the Kentucky moun- , talns, And we thoM fl ht aii the ttiH-bi(lies had ie*t home to make noise« into mlit*«phene», •ULL*EY»N Tlu> I ara uMna j u aiy rt»»pflißit auttoutuemcuU v>a« fakfti i)u»ts i* o " A»TROkO<SipAL FpRetA3T k hcalth %hwwī<j bc fUNTif*d lhis fa!L Moth*r» | •heulll take specīat u pto- , t*«t b«bl«i against e«"rr,k Ah! We a«t n. Th»« iti* ttm« when |H>tlticsi •« «f*un«| k!||fna the b*bU*. TiMi Kwmpeiu t«*ild r*isc a W Of I hi)l t, \*h

We are a"ir ~ wondering - just what sort of animai the n&n-par-tisan party wilt adopt for its mascot. It wi!l probably be a hybrid of some sort. Just because the Czechs are <pppinjr a close watch of the Gerniau army maneu\rers doesn't lass them as rubbcr Czechs. On a hospital cot Lies Dumb Percy Rand; He made a sharp turn, Didn't stick out his hand. . Another nnexplained mystery ts vhat becomes of ali the buttons aundries tear oft customerB* shlrts md pants. Another needed invention is a tele|>hone that won't ring before 7 a.m. Here's some great news for the kiddies. A Japanese chem!st has d'iscovered a formula that gives j castor oil "a pleasant taste." Now we realize that we were born about 50 years too soou., Monday was Labor Day af[ right—and how weli Koko-Nuts knows St. We labored. ali day, and far into the night. We're tired of radio programs, Of tiresome crooning peaclies, ' But pretty soon we'll listen ni \ To hot political speeches. ] lt is reported that it takes a ! million pounds of sausages to feed the Germarty army for one day. That's a iot of baloney. Advice to mothers: Keep the baby's face eleau duriug the «ext i three inoiulis. The baby kissing| derby is about to begiii. j ,Vote for Koko-NuU for—any- , thing you wish.