Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIII, Number 43, 22 February 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

*Here's" a personal ad that was elipped froiu a lli>llywood trude paper. "Wautetl — Studlo stenographer. Must be fast, aci-urate, and inust have iuteyigent'e. lf you are not u cracker-ja.ck, don*t bother us,' ln one oi the auswers the gin wrote that she hud the noted i-e--■yuirēujems aud weul on ■i;our advertiseinent appeals to me■ stronyiy—;stroiiger tliau pivpaf t-u iiiusiai'd — a& i ha\e s«eurclieu tlie UuileU sslute.>s and lio uukea, iu tiuest ol souie oue wuo oouid use my taients to u<l\antajje. U nen it couies to Uns iiuu music prupysiūon, 1 iiave never lounu uiuii, wonian «.>r «lictapuone that couid get to lii>i i>;ise witli īue, eith er fancy or eiitrh as-you-can. 1 wiīu' snoniiaml so tast ti>at i ūuve lo use a special!y peneii with u piaiihum point and u waier cooliug. *y»teiu .attached, a uote pad naaeie rroiu asbestos anu ruled with suiphuric acid. I ruu iuy cut-out opeu ai all speeds, and aui, iu iact, a £uarauteed double liydraulic, wejded drop-forged and ou.īeuipvred ,speciuien of human ligutnlug on a perfecx thirty-Six iiume, grouml 1° oiie-thousatidth of an iueiu" Out on the desert Sits Auditor Brown; He ran out of gas Sixty miles from t<rwn, Bunch of Sc«>t< hineii over at Papaaloa had a parry the other night It is said the wine liowed like imicilage. The best way to see the«e mafl* nifiicent Hawaii sunrises ls to get up at dawn. YOU CAN'T FOOL HER

Liule Str<-aujnnep 1 the olHee vaiup, was iutri)duced Saturdtu; uLuin iu a gt»iitU uian from SouUi lUiKoi.;. When u frien<l toM her where ihi' gemlemu» was from she sald: u Tiiat's> funny. You <lon't talk like u Soutlieruer." j ALL OVER TOWN Hc missed his date with her And she rai«d an awfut fuw, But he had a darn oood atlbf— He was ridin(j !n a bus. BULL-ETIN ] • ] j)luj iii ilu» huiul only hecnuse| T nmsio. It'« not heeauw of what ī out of tt". 1939 Simile: As inti're«ting a« the Congrewionat Record. , SOURPUSS SAM SAYS: i

St>ine fvllows mtln>r go to <'huivli Eiii.l iiKi,>n \o » long tlian cta v s at «n«l h»v« thetr. \viv<»* t* k H (liom ali throygh tl»<* j w<<'k \vhiit a luMiilwn th<\v ar»v . | LIMM£R-tICK ■ There wa» a >owna f«n»w nam«<J } Rand, | Who p<ayed the bas#oon tn **• , band ■ Tilt h* pl»ye<l a blw» rtoU t J Got the bandm«»t«'*» goat A«d the b#n<Jm|»ter Mttd *'Yeu*rt , e»n«*4t w BHE WOULD j

Wftn<lH «ajh thst lf| «lie h«(t onl> on« <\ux fo Hw ī n ix\\vh\n& im h«*r rmi!t»rs ! Our M»maku« #ccitch fri»nd

says he doesn't care how many Scotch jokes we print as lonfl as ti.ey don't cost anythinfl. 'ihe govt*nwr \vaiits to pui uu na iax ou vigai\'iles. Uur uewspa per īneuii, wlio a pipt Uoesu't seeui 10 lte ;i bit iuieresi«o Little streamtines asked one of the Keawe street dressmaKers how business was and the lady said "Oh, it's just sew and sew." iiiku J>iJiuola suys iu l voHet*tss ai umil sltuups l>«cause tlwy ur< nouuU to go up. Jules Carvalho went fishing, Didn't <jet a smQle bass, But he slipped and f«H on some rocks And hurt himself—very badly. JD&> iable: Tiiere onoe lived » mun od īhe Bijī I«land who didn* i-all the le).'islators a bunt*h of nit wits. IT WASN'T GEO. WASHINGTQf "You're a Harl" „"You i*y that and l'»l bust yōur javK?!" ■ "Consider It said again!" "Consider your jaw busted!" liobiu Uood use«l to rob the riol to glve to the podr. If he were alivi toiiay he'd probably be iu WasUing tm. ASTROLOQ!CAL FORECAST Dancing i« to become amazinfliy popular this sea«on when no. vei routines wiii be introduced and old-fashioned square dānces wiii be rsviv»4 Hoorayi But where ean w« find a «xophone pls&er thjit ean piay the music for a square dance? r.o(>rc' Washiiifrt'"<n never t"!d a lie. But George dldn't have to make ont any Ineonie tax returils, Ju#t becaūse a certain luneh counter fn Hīio is serving poi luncheons doesn't necessari!y mean that the owriers are poirveerm in the busienss. ttp to eat 1?« P»w>lvhl H»tmn: M!sto«k « Wny-eoat For * frtpnd»y lanih Th« "March of Dim«s" n«tted |iM,OOO. includifi(j the tv*> nieW>t Llttle Stream!ines donated. HHo flre dppartrnt>nf wili sonn br> movitig to its new station, Gosh, •e'w eolnp to niisv hoaiine t!ie boj* pra<>ticiDr «n tWir nkule)e«. tire»S OA»KEST MOMFNT Whw you arriv« at th« thcat*r and d(«covtr that you've ieft you»' P'"*' *t homa and th« show starta in fiv« minut«*. BīnTtT!N<ITON S