Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIII, Number 50, 12 April 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Don r>Lulgi j , world tennis ehaaipiou. is a confirmed jitterbug. So iliai accounts for liis screwy univenients while in a game? Oh, nidge! We thought hetter of Eudge. Hitler acts as though he thought Bntain's present attitude is Nazi good for him. Oh, that Nazi man. Ask Soviet Aid to Democracies, — New.<paper hea^line. Tliat's sibort ;i.s bad as asking a <at to help a mouse. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS:

You don't have to oo to a *oo to see mo*>keys t You ean see and hear them in the eheap seats at any movie theater. DESERT POME No, 20 Out oo the desert Waits poor Peggy Rand; Her ear looped the loop When the brakes got jaiumed. M. S, Cordeiro, liquor comtriission inspector, can't reclte "Ten Nights In a Barroom" but he ean visjt ten barrdoms in ōne niflht. bul.letin "If the legislature puts another tas on clgarette you*H see me smoking a pipe.' M

Another needed invention is a gadget that wiil automat»cally close and loek theater doors the mlnute the show starts. H£ t*£> - A PACII

Beyond a <3oul>t lio's lost liis miiid, His beīfry's full of bats, Or else lie \vouldn't have de?igned A hooie for frlendless eats. 1939 Fabte: Onee upon a time there was a barber who totd a cu6tomer he didn*t need a haireui THOSE SCOTS ARE HERE AŌAiN Mnorhersoti "l'm looki»g for aomeone to leud vw ton dollars." Fras«»r "Wwl, Mao. yer a nlee day for U," Ifs it j»ure klkh i«f «.ninmer srl\«rt a Sooto)ini!in Uu-ow- hls Christiuas tree away. ABTROLOCICAU FORECAST Money will be spent extravagantly throuQh the »umrrter, It 1« prophe«i«d. Quit« *o. It wlli be vaeatlon time. HYMN 0F HATE A guy we deepifte la Hank MoSpof»ner; Ho a go««d jo!> To beconte a orooner. If th« report that Hiio i« aoina t» hav« a real modern hot«l is tru« marr!«a« «tati«tict next ysar wtH probabiy ahow a marfced c?in« iocatiy. Oecupatior oī Aibani» B«for« Darh Rumonrd N"ovv r HWh ' ] lt woulUn'l bo safo (<> try t«> oe-: uip) lhat t N'Umrji arter A. t <V NOT THAT KIND, S!STtft

U«ti* Nk« f»t • in th» ** ftt*r4, bu' »hr fcAjt chr IMWM know h#w cr

he has been setling to the guard«men.

When Germany started acrosS Europe with her steam roller, she forgot to put brakes on it.

Thene is no truth in the report that dairymen Have recently been delivering fresh butter to their customers instead of milk because the roads around here are getting so rough that the mllk deliv«r ii. On a hospitai cot Lies Joe MeMunn; He saw two carsi When there was but one. The Parker ranch has some fine thoroughbred bu!is but not one of them has as yet been named Ferdinand.

lionie is iioted for 3ts seven hllls, M-hile I-lilo is noted for only two — Halai and Doc.

1939 Sīmife: As conspicious as old man Chatnberlain's umbret!a. There are seldoia more than 2,000 stars visiliie to the naked eye at one tiiue. If yoa dou't believe it, count 'eiii yourself.

The only thing- nbout radto sets tl;at hasn't lmproved in the last few years is tbe progrunj.

It took nearly 700 years to buitd one ot Europe's famou« ca> thedrais. The new Hilo fire stat»on wili be completed in less than haif that time, at ,the pre»ent rate of speed. MOVABLE FRONT!ERS Aceordinfr to newspaper repur the H«nsrtriai)-I\utli«?iu;ui fronti»T has iieiMi "lixed." But hmy loiii will it reu)iiin jn n lixed eondituni? is t!u- ;īiijM.rffTnt «|uestion. MOMKEY BUSINESS Forty monkeys were sent to Rome from London by air recentTy. Maybe they were on!y dei'egates to a peaee conference wlth Mu«so!fnf. kwestion kolumn ī>ear Koko-Nuts: Can yon tell uie how maiiv people work in the le--Brislature? —A Reader. * *bout halt