Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 38, 17 January 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

llo\Y(ly. folbs! Wh;vt u iine summer we're haviug thi-> \viuterj Wanda Waffleiron says New Years may have been happy but she wasn't. 'i'heiue lor New Ye;ir's Eve: Suiiie\vhere n VLeo ls C;Uling. SOURPUSS SAM SAYS;

"it's a r»sky business ra;sing kids these days. The boys are liable to

tur n out to be saxophone players and the girls jitterbugs." DESERT POME NO. 56 i>u th«» vast Kau dēsert Waits rouiantk- Jack Kelly; lU>'> liopitig to meet TUe famed Maiiam Pele. AFTER NEW YEARS For Sale Cheap — One stight(y used wrater wagon, also ohe pole. Appiy most any man in town. li»40 'simiie: A< (lelisrlued as a Wlipino phmtation employe wln'" he lim)f liis puy enve!ope $5 short aiKl a meipi for his poll tax in its l>laoe. It now looks like the Russians started something they can't Finnish. Those war censors remind us of Abe Linooln when he sald, "Yo« " ean fool some' of the pēople ali the liiue, all ot' the people sume of the Uiue but yon can't fool all the people all of the thue. THE SUPREME TE§T

Little Streamlines has broken all her New Year reso!utions ex cept one. We're just waitina to catch her tatking to the boy friend over the te)ephone on the company'6 time and then tt wttt b« unanimous. 1940 fable: Onee upou a tiine ā fresh <;uy got all hifi front teetli knocked out becausc he made wise t-racks al>out a !iewspa]>ertnan's oversUed opu. SAYS *TAtNT SO John Lee says there is no truth »n the report that he i$ going to build hi« own radio and . «ays he wou»d līke to know who ' started that rumor, anyhow. ' W«H, it was a littte bird that told ut, John. i THE SMELL t$ THERE JUST , THE SAME j There is api>arent!y no fruth in iite report that swing "music" is dying, judging from tlie way it lias , laken ou new !ife iately. If it doesn't die it wlll ktH 8 lot of real tuusicians off wilh the sniett iī creates ovcr ?!ie ētlier waves Newsp«per . ritio advises turttlng the <iiat. Th«t wouldn*t do any good heeause otie stāsion is as had «s Ihe otl»er, I'hooeN ! THAT WOULO BE TOO BAD

Sandy McPherson say« if we don't qu»t mak!ng wise craeks »Ī3©ut Scotchmen he*tl ctop borrowflng ©ur

THorsAxns «n- s<s>vm:Ts r.\ ClNti I>KATH, CAl'TrttK" N«nvs h< v &dlli\e. |f īl»«>io fol!»nvs arc \viso tt> bi- c;tptur« s <V H IhO' HusssH <Wy v H au vh<nv. bull rr?N

9u!ts after taking one bottle of Dr. Biljaw's Compound Extract of Hokus Pokus, we will cheerfully and u!adly refund your money." Soviet army*s New Year\s iiast-c-ard froin the Finnisli front to Stalin: Dear Joe—Having a grand time. Wish you \vere liere. S»X KAWAILOA GIRLS HELD FOR FIRE AT HOME-Newspa-per headtin«. Little Streamlīnes says things have eome to a pretty pass when they won't let the flirls keep their home warm on these cold n}ghts. LIMMER-LICK

A i'arker raitel» eo\vboy aaiue<.l Buck, Kuu across a rank pieee of bad luek, On a hot, windy day His blg hat ble\v away— Aud for a new headpiece he's st\lck. W«uid it be proper to say thc Hilo post office will continue und«r Devln« auidanc«? LtFE*S DARK£ST MOMENT W!t«u a ■eol«umist just thlrty iuinutes to finisii his eolumu before tiie deadliue, aud iiis uiiiul is a perfect blank at tliat particular iuoment. The ship# are gone With al) the flot>s; And th« Qiris are back On th«ir various jobs. i INN TO\\\N i»\ t AS iiUSJs FOKCK AL»\ANOES. — Newsi>aj)er heuilliue, There's "a hot tiu»e iu the old lown lwiigUt." SOMETHiNG WRONG HER£ Ruuian General Shaposhnikoff has b««n decorated with th« Order oi Lenin for "succe6sful ou!d«nee of th« Red army's operations." That's the ftrst tim« in hl«tory a high officer has been decorated for leading a retreat. LtFE'S DARKEST MOMENT j When >ou realize that you spent all vo»r moitey during Christmas fhue and eau'i take advautate of t!te bsrgaiiis now !>eitvg offere<! at the stores. Wt>ul<ln*t St make you roa d? Anoth«r needed lnvent)on lt a po«t % lc« k«y th*t Totk» c»n*t leave «ttcklna in their maH box •«. THtS \VA\ TO THK TAX OFFtCE