Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 20, 11 September 1940 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open for contribulions. 7/ you have a good \ gag, $end it in and jve ivill publish it, anel ghe y<>nr name the cred.it. —Koko-Nuts.

Statlsties reveāT that Amerioaus eat but one half of an apple a <lay throughout the year, whieli wouhl indicate that they are keeping the doctor away only half the time. DESERT POME NO. 89 in a deep de«ert ditch Is the car of Sam Sloan; Such a jittery ehap Shoutd not drive alone. The r>euiocratio Chairinan Edward Fiynn says \Vendell Willkie ought to vote for President Rooserelt, Then maybe Tom Cunninghaui would vote for Sam Spencer, BULL-ETIN

OGDENSBURG, N .V.—Most of th« 82,000 «oldier« and nat|onal fluardemen concentrated near here for maneuvers *pent their week-end leaye in thi« city, where they patronized the #oda foun. tains iiberat[y, in preference to the saloons. THE BUS-PENCE 1S AWFUL

Martiu Penee ag;iin went flshing In Kealakekua bay, But this liiue there's no fooling For no big ones got away. Then when the orui.se was ended Ad<l Ue totale<J up the score ; Of mahiuiahi flsh alone He'ii caught just fortj-four. He says that he ean prove it, For Merri! Cari.si»ith was thero, tvo, Aud vouches for the story, Whloh he s»ys ls? all qx»tte true. Penoe says »o tnore ihey*H fool hini \Vlth a iine and w«K>deti pall, For the next timo he go«?S fis?hiir He s goin' to catch a whale. Frankle Trumbauer. aee mxophone player of Kansas City, ha* t joined the U. S« air force. j W<'re flla<J to know «ott»e rea! ute ean be ma<l< of *axophone p»ay«r« after ail. According to A. ! rep< H the populatloti of Hawāii 1$ uj> U.i> per cent. But it doesn t reveat what per ccnt taxes went up during the ssame deea<le. HYMN 0F HATE A Jane we hate !• waitrew Jones; Yo« ©rtlep ehieken, Sh* brina« you bon««, TOO UNCERTAIN Now that sctu>ol has and tn or*ier to sīive a wastc of Hiue, lt be w t ! < vu^£c.<t that the g*ogr«i>hy <ovirst> he om!t ted for tho prvsetst. in ticw of tlie pr«iswu internattoniU sitoatron, ANOTHER »niGHT THOUQHT

Utt!« Btre*mHnf», , mt»e« a«yth?nfi, read !n the pap#f where mort ne>* fsclcrie» ar« bftng op«ned She «lLyt «h« «upp»**# OO.r *merīc#n rertaurant» v»1t1 new t>e w<th tahiti tx~> noiit wmi \m TAIN Ni , wspaj* , r hfSvViSu* ! . Tor or «£atQ«t? IWO Al y«C«rU!n *« tt\* futur« cf th« map frt#ker» ,

I Hnuil retenlly inu-oilueeil j horse Aiul nll tlie tiiue wo thought it v tlie who \vero the I'raziliaus t«.> see ,so many inghtuuires. National Guardsmen headiira for Maui eamp tom,orrow. Those who can't go say thty are with the boys in "spirits." SOURPUSS SAM SAVS:

"The uiore some folks en.ioy their week-ond, the irroui-hier they seetn to be

on M«ndav mormng, itītd some tiiues 1t takes thwn nntil" Tuesday to get back to nomial. It be hettor for thēm not to luive any fun āt;«ll on .week-ends." One niee thing about a radio is that you ean always find some ! fathead to buy it when you get tire<j of īt. A!i(ithor ikvil<M invoini..m is a key for hotol hathrooui <loors that £rnests cnmiot t;iko Away' %v!tli tlieni. These may be school days, but we'd līke 'em better īf they were I eool days. ī.f\sren»l;iry: Ōn. o np<m a '(hno there was a poiitical eantli<late who didii't keep the waittng for hls photo£rrnph. Wasted advice: Drlve safely. ON VACATION

Sandy MePher>on 5s taking his animal vacation this week over in Kona, visiting some Seo t e h friends. Sandy ls reālly

| enjoying the scenery, because it's > all free, We hope he doesnt get reckiess and scnd \is a postcani Tt lwou!d be niore like hlm to eall on the phone aiui tell \ts what a gr-r-ain! tiuie he is havlng aiul \vish we were tliere — and roversc thv charg<?a AN EPITAPH Here lies what's left Of K«ty Hires; She <|rove too fa«t On ba<d headed tire». Latest reports H'oui the BrH;sh fr\>m hhlk-.hU' tluu T."inlon l>ridge ts stīll holdtng out. HOUSE CANOiOATE

Thi« is J. Bo«worth Poof(, loeai d*iryman, who announc<« that he will be a candidai< for the house, on the Wiik T»ckeL lf elected, he promise& io work to make aii dairy cows more contented. WAiAKEA WiLLIE &AYS;

"Ifs iUI iU WtlHt lUfi( Wi«vs tu> tmd,\ gtHvi. \>u( I v<ry muoh tf th<? lcln<! v>»iut?is fixn» ~' . .!'.■ .v.v v '.*.s jt\>r \\t" V r-v..-V *-o ov.!orT;/" n..» W <"V •■,rr « £-.\*tt* *V iVj \vīt*' '•".«<!* .>f *l",o •;.„ r . W V,, v t„» »f ,it> t*'.Ar .nw. w- y r*>o'o I* Vv not\! f.-r '.•.;«•. V. wh^" Th« Greek» a»f arming, *st) s n*wtpif>c ►epe'-U. TTi,«y*fe «\«n g«lng te put arm» t>n V«nu» 4e Ml«e f nt« M<d. ry-*.,>*•: v—"ort TVVo"

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