Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 41, 5 February 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open for contributions. lf you have a good gai>, send it in antl u e leill publish. it, and give your name tke credit.-Koko-Nuts.

(Courtesy of līilo Trjbune-Herald) Good morning, folks. Some of tl>o folks wlio attended the Presldont's ball on Saturday night are stilt a bit sleepy. The President losi quiie a bit of sleep, too. ISN'T IT THE TRUTH? This 011 e was sent in by a Mo-j lokai reader: An e:.lerprising Florida paper of-; fered a year*s subscription for tbe best answerto this question: "Why is ā wonian like a newspaper?" Here are some answers: *'Because they are thinner now than they used to be." they carry the news wherever they go." I But this one won the subserip-j tion: : ] "Because everv man should have one and not run after his neigh-i bor*s. M ~ - Another badly n«eded lnvention is a contraptlon that wH! prevent tong legged feliows push!ng thelr knees aaainst the back of your seat at the theater. German planes bombed Dublin, Ireland. They would have bombed Tipperary, too, only it is s\ich a long, long way to that plaee. Hitler's Axis partner has turned out to be a lemon, so he's o»* to send atd to hlm. Just a llttfe lemon-aid, so to speak. A CLASSIC REWRITTEN (With apologies to Longfellow) Under the sproa'ling chestnut tree the village blaeksmith stands; There are no horses any more, So he just stands and stands. Life's Darkest Moment: When j you are in an awful hurry t0 go j somewhere and you step lnto your car, and discover that you have a flat t»re and at{ the ser. vice stations are closed. Doe»nH it make you sor«? WAIAKEA WILLIE SAYS: !

it s a lot 6f fun b£ing a co\mtT suiiv.'ivisor, rvon if you can*t pleas<» evprybctdy. And ifs a lot raore fun tryiug to figure out how to sptnd a lot of mon«?y the countr hasn*t got." S Alhanlan rel>efs have been ; shoot;ng Uatian soldlert In tht ' back, according to Romf r#pl>rt. Weli, that seems to be the emty : part of th«m the Atfeanlans ean See. Mats<m freigbter Tias gonp tt> Aus»raha to bring back a cargO of wo..] Wo hope this isnt the ldn<J of wool that is to be use<J for pull--5 <hf Amei ipan people'e eye.J THE FATE OF KINGS i Alas, poor Boris, the Bu!g*r Vlng f He's r«at!y \n z Janv His cduntry's Uke a aanelwleh For ># the h*W, Wtth Naiis comir>a 1 n the fr<snt Ar;d Russians tn the rear The tln'c is sfcort for ĪSorts And Butsarta, we fear. S«\ys Hit'er toh!s Na*Ts, "trtV j*ve Vm the whole So we w 'u Mve an epen Te get thncuQh «t the Turk»*' But therc īs b)8 Joe $taUn Of the Reds. whom we exp*et To \? (t hss dl«*ppr«vAt A«tf »edeutoy for Jo*'s h*#n wJ»tfhlng ®?rlt. <The fov> l<nsv«\ An<J 3riitj Butg*rTa And ttt people «nst«vc. i*COr Sor.« mi) lote ht« Jofc A» BvjtQar!an ch?ef, And jotr» a huneh of othet fctns» i,r# «n

j * BULL-ETIN ]

! "I am a great admirer of Bobbie| ' Burns, because his poems never contain a word that is the !east bit suggestfve." 1941 «imile: As old as the magazines in the reception room of a dentist's office. < Wo have no time to think Just now about the Axis, We only have a month or so To figure out our tax«s. SHE'S NOT THAT DUMB

Little Streanilinep, ever-bvisy girl of the office, says ehe cMTtJ uudersuud some of the jokes !n! this eolumn. And sometimes \vo eao'l quito understand L i 111 e Strearalines — or any walllne, fnr that matter. LIMMER-LICK A foolish young man of Lanaī Start«d swĒmmtng to Molokaī, But, a)as, and aiaek, He never eame back— Dont be silly and ask us why. The tliree "M*rks" brothers: \Va-| lioo, Biugo aud Screono. iTALIANS H»T BACK IN GREEK FlGHTlNG.—New«paper h*ad!ine. Who'* back? C«rtaln!y not the Gr«ek«; th«y don*t «how theirs. HE»S R»GHT BACK WHERE HE STARTED

| MussoHni wenOo«reece, ī A riding 011 a pony; | Tlie road was rough aud the Greeks too tough, And that is no baloney. 0!d Hawallan man over on Maui is »*ld te> H»v« » know!«da« of MawaUan meikine a«d herb« that h« 1« ab!e to cur* an> disea»e. Bct he eaiH tmd an h«rb Ihal vni?! cur« that chronlc tlr*d feeHf»s some of the nattve boy« are afftlcted wlth. Sui<} the s>i»ider to the fly : "TK>n*t (orgvn your specs.'' —Ju&gtf, HYMN QF HATE A ouy wt *«u 1» P«rcy Pruitt; WhfM thcre U work H« »«y«, **Vou Wamlii \Vii!Tli'!!on tlu> WIV o? sajs ilop th!s v&t 1f t>i?y wouW do what lĪHUu Mle thoto^ Lejen<!ar): Onct % ttmt thtr« Mii an Trf#hm*n whe dTdn*t j trag alioui hU S.«eittfy, ! SeUWPUSS $AM SAV§ Uf<- o? UMa^ %\>K"n JO\i tO f u\ gvt stv>iiw r«»t wliei! }0U t W}SL J"Mi eonu- ot vh«l mon< ! j you jou *c!\ 4 away "* J Non k ricnic. ck, wct» j Sa) e SJr M*rmadwK« tte "MI, ti* t tV$ * b*«attj r*t • te« twt wt 4iWl rt^{

in« th«t *itler ltn*t ealllna »t * aportino ev«nt. w THt CH6Sf*rUt «IVER Sandy Mcl>her«on w*nt» to »» the BHtt«h wln th« w«f *mf t* dofng at! he ean t« help th«m. Ev«rytlm« h« »• »«»«rtl for h*lp he giv«« th«m hi« wholeh«art«d «ymp«thy. Ore«ce haanl got mueh of a navy ( but what it has 1« Btlll on top of the water. Louse: Th« ktnd of « Hllew who would marry Ann Bherttfan 1 for h«r mon«y.—Callfornl* Pell- * c«n, I YES, IT WAS A BIT CH»tLY Tiiere \vere all kinds. of frflts ; At Uie pr«siā©at'» liut a d&&liing youus la<Jy nam»3: " TiUi« dress<*& to tīe ball lo a*Mr w>tWßf at all, Auiii "l eīiHl * | Wan4« W«<?lein>fy i*»? & j Waiik««f it wondertng lf Gr«ece w;U meii when Germany tum» on j . ut« h«at. , .. .- , j Aeeoniiai to i4port, 60ta* «M>ok«ya wen-e lja£oriea Ihlo t"bts ! coufl.lrj £rwa las* year 1 TUat'a « lot oi moi&p' b«slne»s, **r. Dr*ke ««4 ©ueK, cf C«UfomU h*vt ju«it&»n m Vum«, I»n*t that just to« dttck> i«r &*» Ta(#Ut4, wUsonalre epo>;1? aud hu3ba#4 c>t star &u£U» iUuu« ls aWui to }olu il?o| «Wut U Uxq »«& "Ellmi,, H*U«f aihl enel «s«ln | « ]u«< «»1r A*l% hi twn« . m\U«l ta th« *«ftJ. ( YES. TIUT AGAlid