Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXV, Number 43, 19 February 1941 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

This eolumn is open jor conlribuīions. // you have a good gag, send it in and lee will puhlish it t and give your name the credit.—Koko-Nuts.

((Vurtesy llilo Trih\nie Heral<l) j Well, here we are folks! Niee mornins, yes? Ain't it? That ; other greetings to all our read-j ers 011 this lovely Wednesdav morn. j Genoa the British shelled Leg-1 horn on the ltalian coast the otherj day and the RAF laid a lot of eggs' that,didn't eome from the fow! that| is supposed to have or!ginat«d! there? But that's eggs*zact!y what| they did, and then they went over and bombed Pisa unti! the famous leaning tower a!most fell over eompleteJy. lt seems like the British are giv»ng the ltaiians no Pssa. The price of Kona coffee has gone up two cents a pound. The ?rowers who ao!d their crops at.the previ. ous low price now feel like two cents. L>MMRE-LICK ; A bo?sterous feliow named $ktdd, To a baby luau got a bid, But with some other boys He made too mueh noise, So they told Him to scram—and hedid. How to seī in tbe hospital quicklv: Give the Nazi salute and vell "Heil Hitler!" at an American Lesion meeting. 1T MiGHT BE AT THAT

L»ttle Streamlines thinks the! song, Red Sails In the Sunset, is| the national anthem of red Russia., His name may be L'ndbergh, but. aftei- the pianntv iu whieh he iSj cooperatin,c with tlio iiresidfnt's de-| fense progi;am i«ay we suggest he change it to Iceberg! I Wa know a word j That rhymes with windy Are w« riflht or wrong When we say its Lindy? "I just oan't take it,*V cried Hitler as his sh;tltt v it s d army. of invasion ioturned rrom an unsuceessfal attack against Kngland. Puz2ied: U. S. navyman trylng to fiflure out what ship the members of the Hawail county band are from. HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH Sandy McPhers<>n says he envtes tho nowsoaper me»i wlum U comos to paying inoome !fix V< s ty fcw of them fire euough to hcyotHl the pxo!vipt!or, limil, atKl the who h«vo 10 j>aj anj'tUiag j»ay voi I r.y, ver-v-y Httk». "Aye, luon, the| amall sal trk-d ehap has certain a«ī ! vantages Mlovs like mesclf eanna b« havln,'" OESERT POME NO. 103 As!eep on the des«rt, AH covered with tfu#t, I» a Fuiier bru»h iaie»man Who went on a hust. BUUL-ITIN

"Wf> »nd lall olh«r ift»Rwf»ctys>"rs ought to mnk«> vwrjthl«4 *<> <•«« *Ithwtt nt-aty F«s\t OL*si t*o wftr«!s #houKt bo omUt«Hl t}f«*« OarK«»t Momtnt: W?'«r yov *f* tn an |wfut U $etj twm« pt*cf, >*$u Rv ( mtnut«c t-? maV* tt, &»3 jot. st:r? | feav* a mtir cr mei-e to gv\ juit (

as you are about to cross the railway track a long freight train! comes along and then stops when it gets hatf way across. Wouldn't it make you mad? THANKS TO HIS GUARDJAN ANG£L "Bob" Newby was Quite happy lu his liule home in town, l."ntil a troe. tell on his house . And almost knocked it down. The wiud up Waianuenue way Last week was mueh too high, The tree missed "Eoh'" by inches — He's mueh 100 young to die. Anyone employed under the clvil servfce set-up ean figure spending a large portion of hts spare time flMing out b!ank forms with hls !ife< history, By the time he has finish-j ed the first 20 he becomes fami!iar wlth hls own record, lf he ls stlll young enough to remember that far University of Hawaii Offers NonCredit Curses. —Heading in adver. tisement in Hawaii Sentinel. Now there's a ehanee to learn some new cuss words. SOURPUSS SAM'S WEEKLY GROUCH "One of the advantages tn besne a married man »s that you don*t need to care how often you eat enions. You are not going to do any kissing, anyhow. Or are you?" HYMN OF HATE | A gay we hale i Is Jerry Fink; j He &lways says I "That's what YOU thir.k!"| I Footish Question No. 6?®: Doyou' | thlnk anyhody wlil ever d!scover' ' a new type of muslc to replace' I swlng? j I When you eee a man | out c?'enrp nowridays in celohratton | r>f tho arriral of a new bov tn tho' family, he doesn't say h l('s a boy!" He just says, "I have &noUier new, *oldter in my family." I SEZ WAIAKEA WILLIE |

"t w«s th»nkin' how niee it is to Hv« tn Hawaīi and not have to be! rakino up fa»en leave& frcm the yaN ai! th« tim*. untii i iooked at my lawn Sunday memina aft«r thei t»if wmd of Saturday.*' | How to *<wp from growiiiK old:! J Cait your athieiic motuher.in law; an oid hen. \ WHAT A BREAK j S«0« >n front of a Hiio theater: HE STAVED FOR \ BREAKFAST j WITH LOR£TTA YOUNO J Briiish are seuaiu* aii eap ; ».ur«i luiiiaa «rt»am«m aod aumu ! «iu<m to the tireck», &n<i now tho ] tn Aihania are un wiih th«lr o*n «uns. Th*t's hke «44ins inauH to injury, or aomt v i thtnt. I (T M!OHT B£ \\CRSE

r\*r j u »t h + .nwame UXj he i« blwe,

You'H feel the same when you pay your«. Whleh yau>rē aware ls due. Aithough 'tis sa«d th«s eountry Has dough and wealth to burn. You have to pay In taxes Quite a blt of what you earrt. Eaeh time you earn a dol!ar, One-flfth must go to M Unk, tt For he'e a good cotlector And wi!l U«te« te «o hunk. But twenty cents ls not too mueh, Con»idering what you get— ln «II th« world America is «tWthe ene best bet. Thls twenty cents includes what*s known As legal hidden tax, There*s no way io escape it So just pay it, and reJax. Or would you rāther iive eisewhere, in some dictator land, Run by a ehap like Hltler Who ru!es with an lron hand? ln Germany you*d pay a ta* That's more than ours—lt*s doubll~ And all that you'd get in return Wou!d be a lot t>f trouble, For !iberty and freedom in Deutch!and's qult« unknown,

And secr«t sples eheek up on yen From Munieh to Colo.flne, ( And if you wander out of Hne i They*n nail for a scamp, j And prompt!y start you head?ng for Some concentratfon eamp i Where you v#iuld stay «nt» you learned To hold your tongue In eheek. J For every tlme you speke y©ur' mind You'd get H in 4he neek. Now paylng taxes !s no fun, And that \se'M a" »dmtt, | But the> happen to he necessary j To k*«p our country ftt, Youf Ural«.tMn*a m qoo4 oW «eeui, And fiives yo« tots of fr«Wem. H«*d n«v«r t»k« your dottars \ lf he r**Hy dldn*t «eed *em. j So when you yOur bUI for tax j Just go nght up and pay Tt, And what you're thlnklnfl at the tilß6— I IV* not to tay lt. Fwsno, Cal„ ,Taj*n«*c fores<J p«Wtc«tton' for a \wk, aft*r h <tatfc*rg*a ' *»• uj»s*t » oaso of contnttitr\»i' luon» Uiaa S,W>O elw&elm. Tt tvK>V' <?v«tybod> from th<> <hlHov to tW' JuaSv» <Untl & v*v<6fc *o i*ut tt\o X> ih> ! Hek in tfc« cns<?, of mi?' m*tt wt«v tr*b h»w to oohmw. of maehine wt .mj>t to «»«t» <* tht*. ' j WAn(tn \V*fn*l<vn, beU<s WaiaKea, «ay« anelhee ?\eeded i u \rntJon »« a 6team *os st.ee» «xcav#t(en w«rk th4t v»\-f**t «iUei' a crc\%4 of tp«vtatc. * WOOOMAN» Sf»Aßfe T«AT TRct