Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 5, 31 May 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

lt's womlerful tlie way some of| ihe oUI boys ean travel wlion there is an carthquako. A ro\v of thom | hi'oke all speed records in sretting inio the opou the other day. £oniehow or otlier people tlo iret a little scarod whon tliere is a good sized slun-k. As our Swetle friend Nelson said on Tueisday. "That l>ane vun pretly gude yolt V And a good \voIl" it s>ure was. Another needed invention is a gadget that wiM ai tomaticalfy put brakes on theater patrons who laugh too loing after they get the joke and drown out the next one. SAD STORV Ko wonder the iad.v Feels. lanie and sore: She slipped. and fell On the l»allrooxn tloor. LIFE'S DARKEST MOMENT When you have only five minutes to catcb the mai! and you want to buy a stamp, and you «nd that you are at the reār ēnd ©* a line of people who all want to mail packages, and there is only one stamp window open. Wouidh*t it ]ust about get your goat! bull-etin ,

"I t?m not going t<» t rade tn tny oJd cu.r l'or u new model. 110 matter bow J»a»y «alesnioir talk to about it." 1939 Simile; A* qulet as a bunch of war veterans at a banquet. BtīT THEY r «E ALL SUCKERS Ju<lping by pric-es folks seem: willing lo j>a.v in llawuii for fish these »Ja> s, ibere aiv nnne !isli 011 land thnn in the sea. \ ASTROLOGICAL FORECAST Women should find this a most ausptcious date for home hosps- - Wonder if the bridge ciubs know about this. 193,9 Fable: <>n» e upon a time lliere was a ninn wlio wouldn't ac-t-ept a tax refund fr«»m tli(» governiuent. SOUR»>MSS SAWI SAYS;

*'lf o«rtatn eounty employ«s i

w»r* m prompt Jn getting to wortc ■ In the momino as th«y are !n gettlng away from it in thc afterneon j ther« mīght b« more work aeeom pli»hed." | OESERT POME NO. 28 j O» tlict il< sm so !ori(»!,v | Slts |HM»r Ilopp; | Thi» win«J vvas m> j Tlmt it t)kw off Ms toj> | Chri«tlan Tamily Pestiva! Plan ' n«d. — Newspaper heatfHne ff 1 you'r« * h*»theft yau wen*t be j invlted I THE OPTIMiST |

b UllW WHlh' *V.%r . «14 m*u up ib* | to M»v. !n i«rh<-M it thr !k»v £rftduß!* j

t!iN year it's just too had for the jnn?or Poopoo. Rut WiHie isn*t w««rried. He says he ean take his pli*k of ?rood johs be<'ause several firm<! are ju.<t' waiting for liiui to 2iMdnate. Oh, reah! GOAT GETTERS The friend whj?J(lijS.ts in on thy> line of customers waiting to buy tickets to the show, hands you a $10 bi!l and says: "Here, pal, buy me four fo*ty-cent seats!" T!ie bfiys will soon bo grac!uating and Hien they'll linve to liunt for ,iobs. A word of encouragement to the schoo! g<-ads: You ean always get a job s«Ming newspapers or lnsurance. A reader wants to know what lias ftiltpened to our \veekly Scotch ,joke. (lentle reader.' we are wait?»nr f'"r our o?d friond Kydd to sēnc} iīs iln> iavest from Scotland._ Just m»w we're al! «>ut of Sc*otch —both kinds.