Ka Hoku o Hawaii, Volume XXXIV, Number 29, 15 November 1939 — Untitled [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

We li;tven"r lieard ;mytlnng yet froui Ilenry For<l al>out "ueiting the boys out of the lr. ..vl»es before Chrisīruas." Have you heard the one about the two charming young Hilo iadies who attended the movie show together but were unabte to get adjoir>ing seats? One, thinking to arrange a trade of seats asked the gentleman next to her if he were aīone, and thc brute replied: "Fly away, birdie, I got the whole damn family with me!" MUSICAL INCOMPATiBILITV Divoroed are Mr. And Mrs. M«.-Flynn; She liked Beethoven And he liked Berlin. The Japanese have ignored a note from the Russian governmenL They probabiy thought R.S.V.P. meant "red Soviet vodka party."

One of our hu-al hankers s;iys he manā<:es to keep awnke ilurins tht> Bun(lny niorning sernn»n hy }'»l:'iyi ,> !r golf. Anyhow. the bandmastei is a man of note. SUCH LANGUAGE FOR A LADY

Lilile Streamliries mnl fell.

Heard bystanders whoop and yell. She hesitated not —to tell Them all to go right straight to —oh, well. Some of our Big ls!and fo!ks who look as though they needed a vacation have just had it. A Missouri editor is {n hiding ever since lie pul>lisUed ihis item about u soelety woman of hls town and forgot to read the prwf: Bhe has aiw»ys had mangy frk>nds.

Anyhow, thjs nevwspaper is the , first with the annual joke—Do i Your Christmas Shopping Early, M BULLETIN I

"I don't eari j 5f tho irovorrior <3oes say Hawaii will ohsorvo Thanksglon t!io 2"rd. l'm sti!l ,co | injr <o !iftvo unno <m iho Wlli." ! COMPLETE FAMIL.V tiBRARY ' C©ok book; ; Check book, i A Hetroi! - iii.iii ho,';UlM> !)f o u' v i word "S;ojt" was t i v\o>*t '! , t 'oi of, ilri\cr>i arou 11 1m i »1 i 1 i,!.v be whlo to spel! bnf h:*ve «o idea wha! i t!io wor<l iueaus. , A kamaa na is » t vs' o <.ar> memb«r Wheu thc Anu'CA>' ] !ar was werth ene hundreil re"ts | 1s isu"! ;hf lioi»uo\itss Viutis. «h 1 \\<imu<w s.. } ~ t jiv Uu' lk»lshi \ t, tiU:s. Oo« obj«cl-ieo to Ihe €jtpr«s»!crs "used is t»nt tl'f ; ect(ve (« ißadequat«. . Somo of *: sv, • ,• \>\ Mt, aro <ī*,'irn > ' i''i\\ *' '• \ o* u; !< tho ■ sou:o ttow vn i Corr»ct t!>is se«t«nc«; •■The> ! m«d« th»;r «o !'-c n-*:« ; !and thU >es-." «'<j f-e, th«i : ntvtr some«jn« t)i* do** " | ī - ■ ■ -' \ j a ' ' JBome U'i* l " {

SOURPUSS SAM SAYS:

"The man who ca« survive his wife's bridge party and still feel hap-

py, deserves the Congressional ; medal." ■! t«t <»f fnlks in IJiis t«\vn wm 1 10 kn<»\v liow t*vi i pytl>inur onarht to >>»» rnn h«r noin> of iliom sfOn» to wnnt to H—ospocinHy tf ihprp :uiy wilh H, CALfPORNIA'S "LOST CAUSES." Townsend otd age pension. EPIC. Ham 'n Eggs. S;>n Fr;Hi<-isco marino nnions wani bouus. G<ish, <-'urt īhe.v walt unīlK Christffiast lf Peru has a chamber of eommerce it should put Mario Sato on the payroll. During the past few days he has been putting Peru on the map.

UnWHiian s?;iinp sold Sn Loiulon llh' nther tlay for 51.400. Tl»ose maittlaiHlors who oeonsionally send llnvo cents over here for n "Hawaiiiui stamp" ar*> just pik<?rs. County Clerk Affred Kumalae, who intimates that he hates Seotchmen, t«H this one about the Scotchman who took his flirl friend to the beach at Waikiki on a swnshiny day. Instead of renting a beach umbreHa for her he just tald lier a shady story. HOLLYWOOD STARS, PLEASE NOTE I ft's an ill wi»d that blows nobody J «'UK' The des=ertion of Mario Sato from a Japaiiese \varsliip I has res«lted īn a īot of piihUcit.v for Peru. The "Eyes" Hav« lt MAYOR CRANE GETS A DE CORATION — Newspaper headline. That*s noth"mg. Wanda Waffleiron got mixed vip in a scrap at a t»ight cfuh party the other night and got a decoration, too. | LtMMER-L|CK A y.iuuu IVruvīan iuimej M:irio J W«?nt a\viiy frou» hjs honie so fiirio, And «ol in <he n:\vlo j

\Vlt<»)v «ht v ntsulo hfm :» s!avU>— ' : ; k: H< ' \n;ikt l lnm ;i RUMOR RAiDER OPF THE

EAST COAST— head ! !ine. , We could use ;t here to aood ' advantage in making a raid on , some of the folks whe &rt a!v\ays ( starti«B rumors, | I MISTAK£N !OENT!TY < | Tho llawaii Sentinol ca!!s eoiin-, !!\ VHornoy M,tr!i» IN-no, a "s,>r j r*'i t<<p". Xo\v somohody o!so !\;vj> { iuus a'.nie sUtd mi,«takos him for' l'u'.s,v Tot»lin. l.iko Miko ;Un! ]ko,} 'ho.v hiole fUtke, ;tti<! Poueo ; mv>pH' havo miKiaken Ui»t for tho j i ■ ;oiU,r m<«jj wriior. "Tho oiil,\ dif ( f<*r*>noo," ron,H> s«ys, "j« tUnt riti | ky lii* i- • fc»nu Oklahott!;i wUHo l'm, .« ' «ittivo ot Kmus»« : ho ,;m ) ami t»i.'t\ tt«o cult}tr, !uu ) OHHI," I M j »- « fththa\¥k. ttoppina *o W* | bottte t« hii !,ps in the middie cf Mamō'*tr*et, «truck by er.r ; behind «ald; "G««, I never ' thoushi th-g eheao bra«d cf ' hcotch had such A kiek !« ttV* ' (! Tr-;tP }«;\'!i'otu, \ o«r I'ovt ''' *.mv oro mAny Aytomobi'e &cc< ' denH *re du* lo p«cj>'« hutr>i«g ' e*H«*eh ** **ks Bi!! Chu«\ \ OAI'.I •